rearrange my plans.

my lungs fill with that familiar scent.  like the lost hat, the lost bear, the lost scarf and the lost words i know it’s still there but i don’t want to admit i’m not still as close to it.

my heart used to plummet at these losses but now i accept them as i have accepted so many others.  missing something is different than wishing it were still so.  i’d always previously assumed that when i missed something that was because i wished that it still was.  the missing is like the smell, it lasts for a while but it fades.  when the smell isn’t there it occasionally passes through my mind or i brush up against something that smells like it.

the things that matter are the things that don’t fade.  the eye contact, the love, the touching, the kissing and the overall action that happens.

the person changed, i expected that, the thing i didn’t expect was the feelings changing.  i breathe in and i experience the things i miss.  but i’m not looking to go back to those things, i’m here and so are you.  i love that. where next?

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